Fast Food Gourmets

Esquire released in this month's issue a "full-scale" rating of America's fast food joints and chains by some of the country's most respected chefs. Their culinary conclusions are the stuff us mere mortals have known forever (though I have to say they put an extraordinary spin on why the In'n'Out Burger is so damn good). They also provided the comforting knowledge that some things will never change now that food has evolved into yet another battleground of class warfare (so memorably shown in Super Size Me and Fast Food Nation), using the appropriate levels of snobbery mixed with a dash of Nietzsche to dissect what makes us all drive-thru junkies. I couldn't pick just one money quote, so here are the top two analyses:

"Fast food was intended to be a marvelous step in the evolution in how man eats, but it has turned out to be a symbol of the decline of the culture of the table, and therefore of civilization." — Paul Bartolotta, Bartolotta, Las Vegas

"They all represent the same thing to me. Do the differences between Chairman Mao and Stalin really matter? Fast food is a symbol of the decline of civilization. It solidifies the journey we have made to separate ourselves from a connection to food and family, history and culture. It symbolizes all that is bad with the way food is viewed, what keeps us alive and provides our bodies with fuel we should not take so flip. Convenience is not always the best way. Just as Wal-Mart and Home Depot have proved to be the death of family businesses in small neighborhoods and communities, fast food has done the same. I mean, if you want real convenience, what's next, Soylent Green? As for the low-cost argument, they do not sell anything cheaper than you could make at home that would be better for you — and don't forget the travel expense. These stores can provide jobs to a community, pay taxes, and train the next generation, but so can any non-chain operation." — Jimmy Bradley, The Harrison and The Red Cat, New York City

I think they have a point. I also think that if something tastes good, it's bad for you. It's just odd to hear a guy who serves up $16 appetizers at Steve Wynn's Las Vegas resort (looking in your direction, Barto) bemoan the death of civilization.