Funnier Than a Speeding Bullet

Usain Bolt, as you may be aware, is very fast. If there is one man who I would bet could kill a cheetah, it would be Bolt, as even a cheetah would not be able to keep up with his lightning-quick moves. And the man has a sense of history to go with his historic fleetness of foot:

For those who are not similarly acquainted with history, Bolt's shirt references one of John Kennedy's less than stellar rhetorical flourishes, the boast of Ich bin ein Berliner, meant to be a statement of Cold War solidarity during a speech in West Berlin during the summer of '63. German satirists (not to mention generations of American media, comedians, and even political historians) quickly started spreading the legend that JFK's statement was actually understood by the local audience not as "I am a Berliner", but rather (and I'm translating loosely), "I am a jelly doughnut". There is a delicious pastry known as berliner in Germany, but in Berlin is known more commonly Pfannkuchen. (It's the Deutschland equivalent of Ding-Dongs vs. Ho-Hos, apparently.) While not nearly as delicious sounding, Kennedy did deliver his intended message of "I am a citizen of Berlin" in proper German.

And who exactly is the cuddly Berlino depicted on Bolt's shirt? The mascot for the Track World Championships. Bolt humored the Teddy Ruxpin wanna-be with a mock race shortly after shattering the world record in the 200 meters today.