First Rule of Golf: Always Know Whose Fault it is That You Suck

Sometimes the only thing you can muster up for a blog post is passing along the brilliance of others. (I do this quite frequently when speaking also...people are away of this and avoid me at parties. Often, as a sign of their respect, they don't even invite me. At least I think that's how the quote is supposed to go.)

I was sitting in the lounge today watching coverage of the U.S. Senior Open, and it occurred to me with a scan of the leaderboard (Greg Norman in first position, followed closely by names like Loren Roberts, Tom Lehman, Scott Simpson, Fred Funk, Bernhard Langer, & Jeff Sluman) that the uninformed viewer could easily have confused this for a replay of 1989 "regular" U.S. Open. And as last week's British Senior Open showed, the more things change, the more they stay the same whenever Greg Norman is leading early in a major tournament.

Norman, who fired a 64 on Saturday to take the 54-hole lead at the elder British championship, not only completed another come-from-ahead tumble for a sixth place finish, he caught the flack from pundits when he fielded a question on if he might not have gagged away quite so many majors in his prime had his current wife, tennis star Chris Evert, been by his side. The Shark's response? "Chrissie would've have instilled a different thought process...the answer would probably be 'yes'."

For background, Norman and his wife of 25 years, Laura, did not exactly part on friendly terms and the divorce cost The Shark a nice chunk of change. It's only natural to think of a second spouse as perhaps a bit of needed fresh air on the heels of an acrimonious ending to the previous relationship. But to suggest his wife had some kind of a Vulcan mind-meld ability over him during his dozen infamous collapses? C'mon Greg. So from here I pass the keyboarding baton to Patrick Smith of The Australian:

Laura's thought processes must have been pretty good during his 88 international tournament victories and his two British Open wins but, apparently, she just got ornery at the Masters, the US Open and the US PGA.

Like the 1986 PGA when Bob Tway holed out from a bunker on the 18th. Bloody Laura. Or the US Open the same year when Norman shot a final-round 75 after leading. The bitch. Then a year later Larry Mize holes out from hell on the 11th, second hole of a play-off for the Masters. Quit playing with his mind, woman. Or in the 1989 British Open playoff when he whacked the ball dead into a fairway bunker. Damn you Laura.

No, the Shark is right. It is Laura's fault he lost the big ones. She played the shots, they were her hands that tightened until the knuckles turned white on the club, her choice to hit it wild right on the last in the 1986 Masters.

She was the one who shook so much that Norman could barely take the club back when the big ones were there for the taking. It was her mind that raced through the gears: from panic, to fear, to frozen. Had nothing to do with Faldo sitting on his shoulder. It was Laura who didn't think that bunker could possibly be in play at Troon.

And back at the British Open last year at Royal Birkdale it was Laura who stuffed up the fairytale story of the old champ coming back at 53 to win. He led by two shots with a round to go. Then he blew it. Sorry, Laura blew it. As always.

Reminded me of a quote I read - I think it was from the Golfer's Edition of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books: "Man blames fate for other accidents but feels personally responsible for a hole in one."